Stop Shoulding!

Just stop!

Did you know that every time you use the world "Should" you are actually judging?

Judging and accepting don't go together.

Shoulding is a path to judging and criticizing what is. It brings in an either/or kind of energy. It indicates that there is a right or a wrong associated with using the word should.

Start observing the word in your communication with yourself and with others.

Listen for "You should ______" or "I should have ______."

When you hear it, notice how it feels.

What does your body do when the vibration of the words ring through your ears?

Maybe there is a noticeable sting or a constriction. Perhaps there is a rise in temperature, a little anxiousness present. Sometimes there is a immediate sense of judgement and rejection causing a shrinking.

It may take a little longer to recognize what just happened if this is a normal pattern of communication.

People are well meaning when they offer their advice and opinion most of the time, unaware of what the words are doing once leaving the lips. What comes woven through the message, however, is the judgement that they know more than you do. That you are somehow doing something wrong, or maybe just not doing it right. And that, little by little cuts into your confidence and knowing if you allow it to.

Can you begin to sense this in yourself?

We want to be accepted for who and what we are.

Acceptance doesn't reside in shoulding ourselves or others.

Stop shoulding.

Remove the word from your vocabulary and see how you transform your relationship with yourself as a result. When we learn to stop judging ourselves, we also learn to stop judging others. This is one of the steps in learning self-love, it is also a step in creating safety.

You see, safety is not just an outside thing of locked doors and well lit streets. It is required to fully heal and express the truth of who we are, and even more so if we are working to heal embodied trauma. We are all unique and meant to stand in our own power, and we can only do that if we feel safe within our own being.

Begin by creating a safe space to accept yourself without judgement or self-critical talk. Practice listening and no longer tolerating this within your own mind. Be your own best friend. The more we can do this within the better we are at discerning what is in alignment with our highest timeline.

Awareness is the A in H.E.A.R.T.