Resisting Limitations

My hormone results are in!

They suck...

I still have low cortisol levels. Like lower than the low range limit.

It has been two years since the Adrenal Fatigue diagnosis and implementing all the changes. So many changes. I think I am in the change fatigue stage. Tired of maintaining change. Tired of initiating change. Just tired.

I reached a point at which I tantrumed and stopped taking supplements and started eating whatever again. Oh, it was so delicious to enjoy the cheeseburger, the brownie, I even craved a Twinkie and ate it! Yep! Why? because it brought me pleasure. It felt like a long time of rigidity and deprivation.

I was miserable having to watch everyone else and say "no" to myself and others. That isn't freedom, and I have a profound need for freedom.

Anyone else get frustrated with the time it takes for things to unfold? I sure as heck do. I want to feel alive and full of vitality, and I want it now!

It didn't work. At least that is how I felt when I got the test results. I got pretty down on the whole process. I invested and made so many changes, why are we still in this place of not healed, not thriving, not inspired, not creating the life of magic and miracles I dream about?

Expectations. I guess I had expectations, and they weren't met.

Maybe the limitation is something that is for me instead of as a punishment.

Does that work better?

Instead of feeling punished for this life, can I just find acceptance that this is my life? Can I find a way to thrive within this limitation of low energy and hormones that are out of balance? Can I still build a prosperous life that is low stress and low maintenance?

Am I focusing on the wrong thing? I might be. I think I am focusing on the struggle instead of the beauty that exists in this current challenge.

The beauty is that I have a body that is working hard for me. That this body is going through some difficult changes and needs extra support right now.

This body allows me to see beautiful places and talk with beautiful people. This body walks miles in a single day. This body enjoys being in nature. This body slows down and is present in the moment. This body is creative and finds solutions. This body takes in energy and ripples it out. This body facilitates healing.

This body still works extremely well, and it needs more rest. It needs more down time.

It can still accomplish things.

My relationship with my body just can't be the same as it used to be.

I forget how hard I pushed through all of the warning signs to slow down and rest before.

Now I can't.

She doesn't let me get away with mistreating her for very long. She has set boundaries with my mind. My mind can no longer abuse her the way it used to. My mind can no longer operate without checking in with the body. My body has wisdom and wants to be heard.

Instead of being disappointed, maybe it is just time to accept that some things just are. I am in a place where my body demands to be treated like the goddess that she is.

She is working hard! She is releasing trauma, trapped emotional energies, old belief systems, addictions, dense energy, channeling new energy, rippling out love and compassion, and genuinely just sharing all that she is from a place of courageous vulnerability. She is coming out of hiding and sharing her authenticity.

She is me.

I am.

Just Write: Where are you resisting instead of accepting what is?