Creativity...UGH!!!

Dear God...I'm 48 and I have to start all over again doing something I have no idea about.

I am bored.

I don't really know what is going to be my thing. I like playing with rocks, but I don't seem to attract very many clients to keep me sustainable. If this is my thing, then what do I need to do to bring it to life?

Anyone out there in a similar place?

It's called the void. It's part of the transition from living a corporate life to becoming sovereign and choosing your own adventure. It has been 2.5 years since I walked away from my 19 years of service in the federal government.

My job...it was easy. Show up. Be responsible. Do what I am told by my management. Good benefits. Nice retirement. Plenty of leave.

...and then it wasn't. Burnt out. Nothing in the tank. Pushing myself to show up. Dragging myself through the tasks. Giving extra time. Developing things in my personal time. No excitement. No motivation. Diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue.

Now, I am transitioning into being my own boss. Making a sustainable income in a different way is now my focus. One that supports my body's need for rest and shorter durations working along with providing the freedom and flexibility I crave.

But, what is the thing? Seriously! What is the thing.

I have collected certifications.

I have traveled, attended retreats, done trauma work, found mentorship, met and cultivated sisterhood.

I have followed my intuition every step of the way and I have seen so much beauty as a result.

Yet...here I am having a temper tantrum because I haven't seen any results that make me feel like I am financially successful. Maybe you are in the same place?

I know when I get this way, it's a call to recenter and shift my mindset. But sometimes if I am honest, I am tired of having to work so hard to shift my mindset. It's a constant practice.

And the scarcity/victim mindset can be relentless.

So, this is when to get comfortable with the confusion and the unknown. Why? because when I stress about things like this, there are no insights or A-Ha moments. The fact is I have done a lot of work to get to where I am now. Healing, energy practices, shifting beliefs, listening to the unknown, practicing being in the moment, and so much more.

I have to relax and go play.

Play has been the hardest thing to build back into my life. Work is what pays the bills, damnit, not play. At least that is what I was conditioned to believe. Somehow that belief still sneaks in, work hard and hustle.

And I ended up burnt out and crispy fried. so that obviously didn't work out too well for me.

My new belief...if it isn't fun, I am not doing it.

I still have dips in my belief that I can do this, create this dream life.

And then I remind myself of how far I have come in the last 2.5 years.

Traveling, writing, creating grid layouts, shifting energy, having time freedom, and playing through it all. Truly, I am enjoying what I'm doing, and I just have to remind myself that divine timing is always in play.

Trusting my inner guidance is the key to being in the right place at the right time and trusting that when the thing pops, I am ready to jump with it.

If you are feeling in a similar way, then also know that you are not alone.

Clarity is on its way! You are enough just as you are. Trust in the magic and the unfolding that everything is happening for you and your highest good.